NBA Finals preview

By Rick Morris

From the "frozen envelope" to the Tim Donaghy scandal, David Stern's marketing-obsessed reign over the NBA has led to a plethora of conspiracy theories over the past quarter-century. The sudden revival of the league's greatest rivalry in the form of this year's championship series will do nothing to quiet the "Oh, isn't THAT convenient" crowd.

Ultimately, though, the biggest reason that the Lakers and Celtics will renew their epic historical struggle in the NBA Finals is the fact that two players from the 1980s glory days in this rivalry got very, very lucky. Mitch Kupchak absolutely swindled the Memphis Grizzlies to pick up Pao Gasol in one of the most disgraceful deals in league history. Gasol became an absolutely vital part for the Lakers when their budding star center Andrew Bynum ended up on the sidelines for the rest of the season. On the other side of the country, Danny Ainge got out the credit card, completely mortgaged the Celtics' future, but ended up with exactly the short-term jolt that was necessary to save his job when Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen joined Paul Pierce to form a "Big Three" for the ages.

[SIDE NOTE: This is the ultimate test of sincerity for fans of a downtrodden team who say, "Man, if they could just win it all ONCE, I'd never complain if they went back to being horrible again." Boston fans have suffered ever since the final remnants of their destiny evaporated in the early '90s when Larry Bird's retirement and Reggie Lewis' tragic passing combined with the earlier Len Bias tragedy ended the dream. The Celtics have an awesome short-term window in these Finals and probably even next year. If they get over the top, will fans cry when they end up back in the lottery when these aging stars can no longer live up to their Hall of Fame legacies? We shall see.]

The four best players in this series are, of course, Kobe Bryant, Garnett, Pierce and Allen, probably in that order although some might still rank Allen ahead of Pierce. The fifth-best player is undoubtedly Gasol; in the unlikely event he comes close to matching Pierce and/or Allen over the course of the series, the Lakers should win in five. In the much more unlikely event that Gasol and Lamar Odom come close to matching Allen and Pierce collectively, the Lakers should win in a sweep.

Given their progress over the course of the season, the Lakers have to be considered the favorites notwithstanding Boston's superior record and home-court designation. They broke less of a sweat against generally superior competition in the West bracket. They also have a huge edge in three critical areas: the best player, the best coach and the best depth.

However, ignored in the flush of LA's big win over San Antonio was the fact that the team offense really fell off in that series. With the league's best defense awaiting them in the finals, Kobe has to work to keep all of his teammates involved in the scoring and not fall into his bad and selfish habits that have held back his teams in the past. Paradoxically, he could end up falling into that trap because of how easy scoring may come to him in the Finals; Allen is coming off of a sub-par performance guarding Rip Hamilton in the East Finals.

For the Celtics, the key balance in the series will be resting their precious troika enough while not letting the bench squander the series. James Posey continues to be one of the best role players in the league, but he doesn't have much help, especially relative to LA's deep roster of matchup possibilities. Sam Cassell in particular has been an absolute disgrace down the stretch.

Ultimately, in one of those magic touches that make so many conspiracy nuts start foaming at the mouth, this series appears poised to end with one of hoops history's greatest ironies. Given the enmity that existed between Red Auerbach and Phil Jackson, how odd will it be for Big Chief Triangle to surpass the old master, in Boston no less, by being the first NBA coach to garner ten titles? We should get to find out. Lakers in six.

Best NBA Nicknames of All-Time

By Jason Jones



As I began to look into the upcoming NBA Finals, I was reminded of the players (and their nicknames) who dominated this series from the 1980's. Magic Johnson and Larry Legend helped to ascend the fan popularity to a new level. Too bad the nicknames of today's players are not as epic and creative as their predecessors.

	Player	Nickname
1	Dominique Wilkins	Human Highlight Reel
2	Larry Johnson	Grandmama
3	George Gervin	The Iceman
4	Ervin Johnson	Magic
5	Charles Barkley	Round Mound of Rebound
6	Larry Bird	Larry Legend
7	Vinny Johnson	The Microwave
8	Michael Jordan	Air Jordan
9	Earl Monroe	The Pearl/Black Jesus
10	Robert Parrish	The Chief
11	Karl Malone	The Mailman
12	Shawn Kemp	The Reignman
13	Stacey Augmon	Plastic Man
14	Sarunas Jasikevicius	Jazzy Cabbages
15	Lloyd Bernard Free	World B. Free
16	Antoine Walker	Employee #8
17	Darryl Dawkins	Chocolate Thunder
18	Kevin Garnett	The Big Ticket
19	David Robinson	The Admiral
20	Hakeem Olajuwon	The Dream
21	Pete Maravich	Pistol Pete
22	Julius Erving	Dr. J
23	David Thompson	The Skywalker
24	Lebron James	KingJames/TheChosenOne
25	Sam Cassell	E.T.
26	Oscar Robertson	The Big O
27	Joel Pryzbilla	The Vanilla Gorilla
28	Amare Stoudemire	The Man Child
29	Ron Artest	The Straight Jacket
30	Andrei Kirilenko	AK47
31	Gary Payton	The Glove
32	Tim Duncan	The Big Fundamental
33	Jerome Williams	The Junk Yard Dog
34	TJ Ford	The Little Engine
35	Lamar Odom	The Goods
36	Dennis Rodman	The Worm
37	Dwight Howard	The Daily Double
38	Tony Parker	Mr. Longoria
39	Tyronne Bogues	Mugsy
40	Ricky Davis	Grits 'N Gravy
41	Pau Gasol	The Meal Ticket
42	Adam Morrison	The Stache
43	Steve Nash	Hair Canada
44	Emeka Okafor	Blackula
45	Brian Scalabrine	The Ginger Ninja
46	Allen Iverson	The Answer
47	Kobe Bryant	Black Mamba
48	Paul Pierce	The Truth
49	Darrell Griffith	Dr. Dunkenstein
50	Olekskiy Pecherov	Stewie Griffin
51	Manu Ginolbi	Obi-Won Ginobli
52	Kevin Durant	TheSecondComing/Durantula
53	Wilt Chamberlain	Wilt the Stilt
54	Nate Archibald	Tiny
55	Jerry West	The Logo
56	Samuel Dalembert	The Haitian Sensation
57	Baron Davis	Boom Dizzle/Too Easy
58	Steve Francis	Stevie Franchise
59	Gilbert Arenas	Agent Zero/The Hibachi
60	Shaquille O'Neal	The Big Aristotle
61	Dwyane Wade	Flash
62	Leondro Barbosa	Brazilian Blur
63	Robert Horry	Cheap Shot Bob
64	Yi Jianlian	The Chairman
65	Kenyon Martin	K-Mart
66	Andre Miller	The Penguin
67	Andersen Varejao	Sideshow Bob
68	Bryant Reeves	Big Country
69	Clyde Drexler	Clyde the Glide
70	Scottie Pippen	The Condor
71	Chauncey Billups	Mr. Big Shot
72	Shawn Marion	The Matrix
73	Daniel Gibson	Boobie
74	Dan Majerle	Thunder Dan
75	Connie Hawkins	The Hawk
76	Corey Brewer	Drunken Dribbler
77	Caron Butler	Caronimo
78	Udonis Haslem	The Udominator
79	Linas Kleiza	The Menace
80	Charlie Villenueva	Skillanueva
81	Deron Williams	The Kingpin
82	Hakim Warrick	The Helicopter
83	Chris Paul	CP3
84	Vince Carter	Vincanity
85	Jason Williams	White Chocolate
86	Ray Allen	Jesus Shuttlesworth
87	JR Smith	The Prodigy
88	Martell Webster	The Definition
89	Kirk Hinrich	Captain Kirk
90	Channing Frye	Buffet of Goodness
91	James Worthy	Big Game James
92	Glen Davis	Big Baby
93	Brandon Roy	The Natural
94	Richard Hamilton	RIP
95	Chris Anderson	The Birdman
96	Anfernee Hardaway	Penny
97	Rafer Alston	Skip To My Lou
98	Tracy McGrady	T-Mac
99	Stephon Marbury	Starbury
100	Harold Minor	Baby Jordan

Points of Note:

#5- Sir Charles is probably more well known, but Round Mound of Rebound is just more funny.

#7- The Microwave may be one of the more genius results in a nickname

#14- My wife assures me that "Jazzy Cabbages" is the funniest name on this list

#16- Employee #8 is interesting seeing as opposes Antoine Walker's personality

#17- Chocolate Thunder is only one of great Darryl Dawkins names to pick from

#29- Ron Artest's "Straight Jacket" may be the most fitting name on the list

#42- The only thing Adam Morrison is know for these days...The Stache

#45- How great is "The Ginger Ninja"? South Park good

#52- Most young players get carried away, but I love "Durantula" for Kevin Durant

#59- Agent Zero was a great name, too bad it doesn't apply

#77- Caron Butler may not truly deserve a nickname, but Caronimo is creative

#99- Starbury is just stupid and lazy, and a far cry from the brilliance of Iceman and Chief

#100 Baby Jordan, the only nickname to end a career the second it was uttered