Obamacon apology form letter

By Rick Morris

We've heard much this year about the phenomenon of the so-called Obamacons: opinion leaders on the right who are voting for Barack Obama for president this year as a result of their disgust about the direction of the country under eight years of George Bush and their unhappiness with John McCain's deviation from conservative principles over the years. I disagree completely with the conclusions they draw while understanding that their dissatisfaction is valid.

For that matter, I believe that a close friend of mine fits the profile of the individual I painted above. He has made no definitive public pronouncement, and I have far too much respect to ask him outright (one inconsequential vote is not worth jeopardizing a friendship over -- although the comsymp credo of "the personal is political" explains why so many on the left don't have enough respect for their friends and family to keep from berating them into voting for their chosen candidate), so I'm just reading the tea leaves and I could be wrong. To this point, he's elected to be discreet in announcing his preference, although I stress again that my respect for him is completely unconditional. But I want to separate anybody like him from the group that I am about to goof on, because there are those who are climbing aboard the "spread the wealth around" train purely for the attention. This column is specifically addressed to publicity-addicted "Obamacons of Convenience."

Take Chris Buckley, for example, who got the attention he wanted for his new book by basically forcing National Review to disassociate themselves from his views -- before he played the martyr. There are others as well in the right-wing media who may not be openly endorsing Obama, but who in their criticism of Sarah Palin specifically (who represents the one decision McCain has emphatically gotten right) are signaling that they are very comfortable having Obama win the election. This means you, Peggy Noonan, Kathleen Parker, New York Times phony house "conservative" David Brooks and neocon warmonger David Frum. Actually, for as much as I think Buckley's being an attention whore, at least he's got the courage of his "convictions" compared to these other passive-aggressive folks taking their little potshots.

But we've seen this story before: conservatives who defected to Bill Clinton or Ross Perot in 1992. Now, as a fresh-faced youth at the time who really wanted Pat Buchanan to stick it to "King George" in the primaries that year, I found myself in a similar position in the fall, supporting what I saw as the lesser of two evils and shaking my head in bewilderment at those alleged righties who went on TV to proclaim either Clinton or Perot (who was nothing but Clinton's stalking horse) as the better option for conservatives!

Now, Buckley has spoken of how Republicans deserve to lose this time, and if this weren't a zero-sum game where somebody else then deserves to win, I'd agree with him. But as crummy as the GOP did with unified control of government from 2003-2006 (and the first five months of 2001), the Democrats have done even worse since the 2006 midterm elections. Somebody needs to tell Chris Buckley that this ain't a squash game down at the old country club: the country will collectively suffer the consequences if hard-left Nancy Pelosi and her puppets in the Senate and executive branch lead this country off a cliff in the next four years. "So-and-so deserves to lose" is an infantile argument; elections are about who is better poised to handle the next four years -- or, sadly, as has been the case ever since Ronald Reagan left the scene, which of the two bozos on the ballot is the lesser of two evils.

Inevitably, many who supported Clinton or Perot had their regrets, as will the pundits knifing McCain who still are capable of reflection and intellectual honesty. So in the eternal spirit of helpfulness, I present a template that will come in handy for the Chris Buckleys of the world in the next four years, The Obamacon Apology Form Letter. With a crystal ball, it can almost serve as a form of Mad Libs!

Dear readers:

In 2008, I let my frustrations about the Bush Administration and John McCain's many imperfections get the best of me. Indeed, I went so far as to suggest that we would be better off with the candidate to whom I regrettably steered many votes through my writing, President Obama. Insane, I know, what was I thinking?

The only thing I can say is that I was blinded by my dissatisfaction and I grasped for any alternative in another direction without doing my due diligence. When Obama spoke of "spreading the wealth around," I found it merely a colorful expression of his desire to help people. Little did I know that it was a hint of the __________ yet to come, the federal act that forced __________ into __________ and caused the calamity of __________ .

Additionally, I had no idea that his pacifist international policies would yield the results that they did. The horrible nuclear __________ on __________ was truly a frightening spectacle, and the wider __________ in __________ was something I would have found unthinkable back in 2008.

And while I knew that Obama had expressed sympathies for those of different "orientations," little did I know what form that would take. The __________ Act of 2009 haunts me to this day. Those poor sheep!

Anyway, I have learned my lesson and I'm ready to support anybody who can lead us out of these miserable times in the 2012 election. Yes, even Sarah Palin, who I badmouthed for no good reason back in '08.

Please accept my apology,

Sincerely,

Dumbass "Conservative" Attention Whore