By Rick Morris
Am I the only person to question this development at all? I understand that International Talk Like a Pirate Day has gained traction in recent years – although I am greatly saddened that I forgot about it this past September 19 – but I never thought that there would be any weirdos out there who would take it to the next level.
“Yar, matey, we be wantin’ some treasure for our plunder! If ye be wantin’ Sally Struthers’ kids to be eatin’ this beef jerky, then ye be payn’ us in gold. Belee dat!”
The problem is that these posers have satellite phones and GPS systems. I don’t remember the likes of Jack Sparrow having to resort to that!
Fortunately, our military and some other forces may get involved. In a development that should cause every buccaneer to gulp in fear, the ruthless Russkies may be combating the pirates as well.
If you want to defang these creeps once and for all, though, I’ve got the best solution: relocate them to McAfee Coliseum in