Florida primary predictions

By Rick Morris

For the donkeys, in a yawner, Hillary will top 50% in what would have to be called the dubiously-named beauty pageant. That designation comes from political pundits looking for some way to offer some context to a glorified straw poll, since the Democratic National Committee yanked all the delegates away from the Sunshine State for moving its primary up without authorization. This victory will not, and should not, be taken as any time of substantive refutation for the mighty hiney-whooping she took in South Carolina over the weekend, but the shameless Clintonian spin machine will try to push that garbage anyway.

On the Republican side, the toughest prediction of any of the contests to date looms. John McCain and Mittens are running neck-in-neck continuously in the polls. Based on the very little I can discern from the polls in recent days, I give the slightest of edges to McCain based on apparent momentum coming from the endorsement of Governor Charlie Crist and the fact that he is trending better on Intrade at the moment. "America's Mayor Rudy" will be a distant third, a prelude to his coming withdrawal from the race, and The Huck's slide will culminate in a fourth-place plummet.

I Really Hope These Focus Groups Are Not Representative of the Rest of Us

By Jason Jones

Shortly after wrapping up the Fantasy Draft Help Insider show, I decided to jump over to Fox News and see what the reactions to tonight’s debate were. It is not my place to tell you or anyone else what’s going to happen or what should happen, however I had to chime in on the responses and point out how stupid America is being. The following is a word for word account of Questions and Answers from a focus group care of Fox News/Hannity and Colmes. My comments in red.

Q: A word or phrase that stood out to you regarding Fred Thompson’s performance?

A1: Nice awakening, but too little too late.

I don’t want to hear “too late.”

A2: The “Big Bear” in Fred Thompson awoke.

He was always here, you just weren’t listening.

A3: Entertaining but not convincing (that woman is really STUPID).

Again, not listening…you’ve already decided and are a drain on the process.

A4: Very prepared and it showed.

He’s been very prepared since the day he got in.

A5: His charisma finally surfaced.

Again, since Day One. Where have you been?

A6: Showed his intelligence, he was organized and prepared.

…Day one…

A7: Sarcastic and curt with no substance.

You are probably one of the Jackasses who has been waiting for a sound bite.

A8: Surprising, a little too late.

You’re an idiot, there’s not one thing surprising about anything he said.

A9: Began to contrast himself.

The answers are the same, he just had to turn up the volume for those of you that ride the short bus.

A10: Believed he was very strong and passionate, he was ready to go.

Since when does “sounds passionate” mean squat? Is he the right man for the job?

A11: Very dynamic and great, but late.

What’s with this late crap? We haven’t even gotten to the S.Carolina primary yet?

A12: Very strong on conservative issues, very strong on immigration.

Again, no change. He’s been here since the beginning.

A13: Presidential and very convincing.

Now there’s one I cannot disagree with.

Don’t tell me he’s too late. That is complete bull@#$%. Sure every candidate and the voters who vote for him/her would love to start fast and end fast. In politics, it's rare like in NFL football that one is the ’72 Dolphins. Remember when McCain was getting his ass kicked routinely in the fall? How about when Mitt Romney was afraid to really mix it up, then he began the attack on Hillary? Where was Huckabee 2 months ago? I also think I remember everyone thinking for a large chunk of time leading up to now that this was a 2-pony race between Romney and Guiliani. Where’s Guiliani now? Holding every one else’s jock strap. And Ron Paul. For about 3 and a half weeks, people believed that Ron Paul was for real. No one is now where they started at the beginning. No one. That is clearly a cop-out for those who have put up a mental block on Fred Thompson. Those people who said, shades of Doc Brown in Back to the Future, …The actor!?!?! Get over yourselves. If you just open your minds to what’s really going on, you’ll see that tonight proves that Fred Thompson deserves to be in this race just as much as anyone else. Seriously, if you quit waiting for soundbites and personal attacks you’d see that Thompson should have South Carolina and Iowa (but people got caught up in the flavor of the week with Huckabee). Don’t believe me, ask George Foreman if Muhammed Ali got serious and passionate too late in the Rumble in the Jungle.

Q: How many of you switched your vote to Fred Thompson (show of hands-less than ½)?

Q: I want to know specifically, why?

A1: He’s shown us a turnaround. He has shown us his voice. He has shown us a seriousness on a lot of the issues that were wavering.

First off, I don’t want to scare anyone who’s now jumping on the bandwagon. He’s always been here. His voice hasn’t changed. He is the Tom Landry of this race. He should not be discredited because he is stoic and steadfast on everything, he should be rewarded for it. Since when has he wavered on anything? He just had to speak loud enough so that the Springer-Minded People could hear what he was saying. I really don’t think a man should have to call out another and get personal before you start listening.

A2: I believe he was sincere and showed real wisdom and candor.

That’s what he is. Sincere, no nonsense, stoic, educated, and everything we should be looking for in a candidate.

A3: I finally found out where he really stands.

THAT’S BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T LISTENING BEFORE, YOU IDIOT!!!

Q: So what was it? Why do you think he waited this long? You complained he was too late, what was going on?

A1: He chose the perfect state to do this in, South Carolina is very conservative and they are looking for a very conservative candidate; I think he played to it.

Need I say “Rope-A-Dope?”

A2: South Carolina is the Dickville Notch of the country. (apparently I haven’t followed enough politics to get that inside joke).

…Yeah, I got nothing.

A3: (the stupid woman) I simply think he had a good day, and it actually concerns me that he has not been this consistent throughout the campaign. (You know what concerns me? Why you deliver your stupid comments with that lame-ass Jodie Foster “I need to spit it out” manner of speaking).

The only thing he has not been consistent on is the stuff that doesn’t matter. Since you’re not listening, you don’t see that. The only thing that has changed is the volume and inflection of his voice, him singling out particular candidates to tear apart, and providing some soundbites so that you could remember tomorrow what happened tonight. This is why people should have to pass an aptitude and political current events test in order to vote. (that’s a little harsh, but am I the only one listening to the answers?). Short of saying, I don’t care if the candidate looks like a he’s high on Quaaludes, if he has the right answers, Volume and Passion should have no relevance. Some of these people are acting like, Fred thought he’d take up a hobby for a couple of months. Like some colorblind kid trying his hand a putting together a puzzle. C’mon America, you can’t be this ignorant.

A4: I mean, he made it clear when he brought everyone from his campaign down here to South Carolina, this was his last stand. He’s got to make it or break it.

A5: He came to South Carolina. It’s a strong state for him, he was confident, it showed, he looked presidential. I think he’s a tough opponent.

A6: Nice candor and wit but I don’t think he has the dynamism to be the long-term leader of this country. (you’re ignorant and clearly haven’t been paying attention).

DYNAMISM????? Wow, you shouldn’t talk…As is in having a dynamic characteristic, within the context of this race…He has exactly the DYNAMISM that we are all looking for.

A7: Fred Thompson is smarter than anyone thinks, earlier in the beginning of this whole talk said, “no one who’s ever become president has lost South Carolina." He came to South Carolina, because that’s where the winner’s gonna be found.

Even the stoner in the back gets it. How come the woman and the uninformed men in this focus group cannot see their head for their ass. I’m not generalized with gender, it's just an observation from this particular focus group.

A8: (some elderly woman making some comment on sacrificing his Hollywood career to become president. Blah blah blah)

Anyone who brings up the “sacrifice Hollywood for the Oval Office” angle clearly just showed up for the free coffee and donuts.

A9: That’s funny, I never thought he was passionate at all. It seems to me, that up until tonight, when he was forceful, he was only in it because other people forced him in to it.

WHAT THE F@#% DOES PASSION HAVE TO DO WITH IT?My chiropractor is not passionate about his job, but I know there is no one else I'd rather have doing the job. And forced him into it? You couldn’t force me to spend $1 on anything if I didn’t want to do it. You really think Fred Thompson is going to waste time and money on this because someone else told him to do it, while he opposed running? You, ma’am, are dumb as paint.

A10: I agree, I don’t think he had enough passion, he came off tonight wonderfully, I think he was very aggressive, but he is just too little too late. We also have to think of who’s electable. Who is going to put up a fight against the Democrats?

Listen stupid, as unbiased as I can be, Fred Thompson, John McCain, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, Rudy Guiliani are all electable. The only one who isn’t is Ron Paul. On top of that, I think that Thompson, McCain, and Huckabee could defeat Hillary without over extending themselves too much. Same could be said for Obama, unless minorities and the youth vote come out in ridiculous numbers.

Q: Does electability matter?

A: (in unison) YES!

Q: More of you think the Democratic candidate will be Barack Obama, so should be the republican candidate?

A: (jumbled mess of all the candidates)

Q: (Colmes) I am fascinated by what is going on there, specifically with Fred Thompson, and his showing here, but for those that thought he won the debate, but then would be reluctant to vote for him. Why if you thought he was so strong would you be reluctant to vote for him?

A1: Let’s start here in South Carolina.

Q: (interjected followup) Why?

A1: Let’s show the rest of the country that we are not afraid to elect the best candidate.

This may be the best sentence uttered all night. Forget the frills. Forget the sound bites and the inflection in each candidate’s voice. Can we just listen to the questions, then listen to the answers and formulate a solid opinion on what was said and not how it was said. I could say, “the chicken ate poopie-cahcah for brunch with the Anderson’s” and if I said with a passionate inflection and directed it at someone, America would think I really had something to say. The point would remain, IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW ITS SAID, ONLY WHAT IS SAID.

A2: I don’t think that any of the previous campaign’s (primaries/caucuses) matter. We are an independent state and we’ve shown that before.

Then secede from the nation, hillbilly boy.

Q: You said too little too late, I want to know why?

A1: Too little experience, he’s just been in the government in the legislature.

Go off yourself. Or at least Google him. Lack of experience my tookus. Lack of experience, we have a governor and a mayor running. A first lady who’s only been a senator for a short while, and what seems to be a freshman who’s only held his office for 2 years. I should slap you in the face with your own experience comment.

A2: (stupid Jodie Foster woman again) He’s an entertaining man, by all means. The consistency has not been there and that makes me nervous. I don’t know that he will handle things consistently in a forthright manner.

The consistency has been there, you are too naïve and dumb to see. Its like people have a Jerry Springer filter on. If it isn’t loud, personal, or abusive, then it's not worth listening to.

A3: I want the candidate to start strong and end strong, and he hasn’t had a strong start.

When was the last time the person who was elected President held the pole position throughout the duration of the entire process, beginning to end? It’s a lot like a basketball game. One team can win convincingly or even dominate, but it is foolish to think the other team didn’t at least go on a run from time to time. Look, I hope Fred Thompson is the San Antonio Spurs of this process. No flash, no glamour, but when the dust clears, whether you like him or not, you will recognize that he is the most complete well-rounded candidate from top to bottom and in 360 degrees. Even if his performance doesn’t come with the high-flying sparkle you’d wished it had.

A4: And I also think that with all of these situations around the world we need someone who is used to thinking about it before just jumping in and reacting to it. (you should not procreate, it might bring down the national average).

Q5: (by a show of hands) Was it right to include Ron Paul in this debate?

A: (5 to 1 in unison) YES

NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ron Paul should go away. At least go as a tertiary party member. Ron Paul is not a Republican. It may be too harsh to call him a Democrat. When your answer to Iran is to not do anything for fear of starting World War III over a miscommunication, then I’m done. I have written you off. That’s exactly what Bob Dole would have said when the planes crashed into the trade center buildings. Let’s not get too hasty, it could have been a misunderstanding. The leader of the free world should not be the guy at standing in the corner quivering out of fear.

SOUNDBITES:

Fred Thompson-Mike Huckabee would be a Christian leader. But he would also bring about liberal economic policies, liberal foreign policies. He believes we have an arrogant foreign policy, and in the tradition of “Blame America First." He believes that Guantanamo should be shut down and those enemy combatants should be brought here.

Mike Huckabee-The Air Force has a saying, “If you’re not catching flack, then your not over the target," well I’m catching the flack so I must be over the target. Fred, I appreciate the analysis of my record.

Mike Huckabee-If you think you are going to engage the United States military, be prepared not simply to have a battle, be prepared first to put your sites on the American vessel…and then be prepared for the next thing you see will be the gates of HELL, for that is exactly what you will see.

Fred Thompson-You know how you can tell the news is good coming out of Iraq? Because you read so little of it in the New York Times.

Fred Thompson-You cannot take the judgment out of the hands of the forces on the ground, I think one more step and they would have been introduced to those virgins they are looking forward to seeing…Iran was clearly testing us, they took British hostages under similar circumstances. They are testing our resolve, they know they are dealing with a nation that will not put up with that sort of thing.

Let’s talk about the word change. Change to me is just a buzz word. Change is the transitional word that becomes a catalyst for a candidate to say “hey, look at me over here, if you don’t like the current situation, vote for me because I will change things." Change is just a word. This is an election process. Despite popular, and yet naïve, belief, you will never see change. You won’t see it because this is AN ELECTION PROCESS. All we have to go on is words. If you are a more stringent follower of political news and events maybe you can rely on voting record. It's an election, you will not see change, see change proven, feel change, visualize change. And the reason is, words are pretty much all we have to go on. Once we’ve listened to all of the words and we as a nation have made our decision, then maybe you will see some change. That’s how our political system works. Obama or McCain, Clinton or Huckabee cannot SHOW us change, and here’s the kicker, so pay attention.

THEY ARE NOT THE PRESIDENT YET!!!STUPID.

Here is another comment from the dumb Jodie Foster woman:

“I don’t even pay attention to the word change. Because I can sit here all the live long day, guess what? If you elect me I am going to change Global Warming. It won’t happen anymore. PROVE IT. No one does”.

I wish I could have 2 minutes with this woman. Have her feeling like an infant who just slammed its head into the corner of a coffee table…Lost and confused in a pool of her own disillusioned tears. I wonder if she would feel better if the candidates would close their responses with “Q.E.D.” This is not a mathematical equation or the proof of a scientific theory. These are candidates trying to say what they need to within there own belief structure (unless we’re talking about Mittens, he says whatever he has to regardless of the integrity of his true beliefs. No one should take anything he says seriously.) to convince you WITH THEIR WORDS that they are the right candidate for the job.

Some other major thoughts on tonight’s debate.

-Fred Thompson finally showed up.

-Mitt Romney was somewhere between unimpressive and detrimental to himself.

-McCain, Huckabee did not hurt themselves and held their own.

-Ron Paul officially has no shot to win.

-If these results translate to S. Carolina primary, we could be at square 1.

Keep in mind, Ron Paul not only looked like a senile old fish out of water, but also registered the worst singular response to a question since the campaigns began for 2008. Ron Paul is as I said he was, he is a Democrat in Republican clothing trying to hide his true tendencies. In a time when Republican voters want their candidate to stop apologizing for being conservative and take back the party to the ideals that drew each individual to that side, you have Ron Paul. Party affiliation aside, issues aside, personality and appearance aside, Ron Paul is the Ross Perot of this election process except Ron Paul doesn’t have the money to buy his way into the nomination of this party just so he can stick his head into the camera and say, “Look I matter," because Ron, you don’t.

With all that was said about the debate. All of the opinions uttered both by experts and random voters, here are the results of the Hannity and Colmes Text Message Poll…

Tonight Winner? (of the debate)

1 Ron Paul 32%

2 Fred Thompson 22%

3 Mike Huckabee 18%

4 Mitt Romney 13%

5 John McCain 6%

6 Rudy Guiliani 5%

This proves either, Ron Paul supporters are hackers and rigged the poll or America really doesn’t know what a win looks like. I’ll give you a hint, in football when a group of teammates dump the Gatorade on the coach, that’s not a consolation prize for the loser.

New Hampshire primary predictions

By Rick Morris

On the Democratic side, Hillary's Monday tearfest is going to add to the snowball effect against her. Obama wins by about 12 points, with Edwards back of her by a decent margin.

For the Republicans, McCain will hold on, but has been hurt by Romney's momentum in recent days. Notwithstanding a mediocre debate performance on Sunday night, Mittens has received credit for appearing brilliant for some unknown reason. He'll close to within 2 points or so of McCain. Huck will be a distant third, with Rudy, Ron Paul and Fred Thompson trailing him in that order.

If these results come in as I anticipate, Edwards will be finished and Hillary gravely, although certainly not mortally, wounded. Romney will hang on in hopes of a win in Michigan as the GOP race becomes a full-fledged free-for-all. That should give an opportunity for my man Fred Thompson, but he'd need to win or finish at least a close second in South Carolina.

Huckabee, McCain and GOP double standards

By Rick Morris

The continuing assaults on Mike Huckabee and John McCain as less-than-authentic conservatives in the Republican race for president are indicative of a general stupidity that has long affected the right side of the political spectrum when it comes to selecting this nation's chief executive.

As listeners to The FDH Lounge program are aware, I am not endorsing either candidate, instead preferring Senator Fred Thompson. But the hypocritical piling-on that so-called conservative entities such as the Club For Growth are engaging in at the expense of Huck and McCain illuminates a much, much bigger problem for Republicans. The clear and simple truth is that either man would easily make a better president than the two empty suits that the party establishment seems determined to cram down everyone's throats, Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney.

True, Huckabee supported tax hikes as governor of Arkansas and has an economic record that would not work well if he attempted to replicate it on the national stage. He has, however, supported a flat tax plan that would mandate a fiscally conservative path as president. Fears that he would bring the "Razorback Style" to D.C. are completely unfounded and disingenuous, since Republicans of all stripes learned the lesson of the first President Bush that tax hikes are a one-way route to defeat for re-election. Even the second President Bush, with his countless deviations from conservative governance, wasn't dumb enough to chase a tax hike and neither would Huckabee.

And McCain does have a boatload of annoyances to his dubious credit as well, from the blatantly unconstitutional McCain-Feingold monstrosity to the "Gang of 14" judicial deal of 2005, but he's also the biggest foe of pork-barrel politics ever to run for president. While he opposed the 2001 and 2003 Bush tax cuts, his overall economic record has been exceptionally conservative.

Both Huckabee and McCain have been unwavering in their support of the unborn and both have supported marriage as an institution between one man and one woman. Frankly, however, we have seen just how little social conservatism matters to the insiders and vile interests who control the Republican party.

On social issues, Rudy Giuliani is the most liberal major candidate for president in the Republican party since Nelson Rockefeller. Mitt Romney now claims to be conservative on each of these issues, but was a proud and unapologetic liberal on all of them when he was governor of Massachusetts. As I have noted with my FDH partner Jason Jones, he is fairly libertarian on social issues and I am not -- but neither one of us trusts Romney because he sounded like Jason when it was convenient in the Bay State and now he sounds like me when it is convenient on the national scene. Additionally, while this is an unpopular point to make in this sensitive day and age, Romney represents what would be the largest break ever with our nation's rule by individuals under the traditional Judeo-Christian banner.

And yet, sellout "conservative leaders" are trampling each other for the disgraceful opportunities to climb aboard the Giuliani and Romney bandwagons and lyingly bash Huckabee and McCain as less conservative. In many cases, this can be tied back to the old adage that no matter how pure at heart these pretenders claim to be, all they ever really want is the glory and influence of being associated with a winner. Witness Rush Limbaugh's hit jobs on Pat Buchanan and John McCain in 2000 to clear the way for Junior because El Rushbo thought he smelled a winner -- all the while hypocritically denying that he was making a specific endorsement for president -- and the move of influential "conservative leader" Ralph Reed to endorse Bob Dole in 1996 when he was pretty much the most liberal candidate in the field. In this election cycle, Hugh Hewitt has insulted everyone's intelligence at every turn, professing neutrality while breaking out the kneepads for Master Mitt at every turn. Examples of this sad phenomenon, the tendency of sellout conservatives to kneecap the greater good of the movement for their own selfish reasons, are unfortunately endless.

The picture gets worse, however, when you factor in petty personal issues and other inexplicable matters. Dr. James Dobson, allegedly the purest of the pure in terms of conservative leadership in this country, took cheap shots at Fred Thompson apparently for the "sin" of puckering up insufficiently to kiss his tuckess. This occurrence was even more sickening given the fact that Thompson was considered at the time a highly viable alternative to Giuliani and Romney and this did not impede Dobson's selfish grudge one iota.

The inescapable truth is that most conservative leaders are being unveiled as complete phonies in this election cycle. They are willing to foist Giuliani or Romney on the public notwithstanding the fact that both would be completely unreliable as president and neither is electable in the first place (neither can turn out the party base in the South, Giuliani because of his social positions and Romney because he represents the aforementioned deviation from the American Judeo-Christian tradition). They bury Huckabee and McCain at every turn for their supposed heresies while turning a willful blind eye to the far worse actions of their liberal Northeast pets. They brand Thompson as unelectable because of some supposed foibles with his campaign and his campaign style, all the while pretending to be ignorant to the fact that their attacks will in large part be responsible in the unfortunate event he is unable to secure the nomination.

The double standard applied is nothing short of sickening. Apparently in the Republican party, the only allowable policy crimes are against the social conservatives, not the economic ones. The party is never going to shake its image of putting Wall Street above Main Street if it keeps urinating on social conservatives and only wailing about policy failings involving monetary interests.

A great many conservative voters, myself definitely included, long ago accepted the notion that the vast majority of Republican politicians are worthless frauds who talk a good game but sell us out at the first opportunity. The wonderful conservative pundit M. Stanton Evans long ago coined "Evans' law," which states that "Whenever one of 'our people' reaches a position of power where he can do us some good, he ceases to be one of 'our people.'" However, we don't apply the same standard of suspicion to those advocates in right-wing interest groups claiming to speak for us. It's time we started, because most of them are proving to be every bit as harmful as the charlatans they have put in office.

FDH Lounge Show #21: December 2, 2007

By Rick Morris

The 21st edition of THE FDH LOUNGE on SportsTalkNetwork.com (8-11 PM EST Sunday) will bring you more of the widest variety of talk anywhere in the known universe.

We will be joining you at approximately 8:20 PM EST as opposed to our usual start time as the special postgame coverage from the Cleveland Browns/Arizona Cardinals tilt will be finishing sometime shortly after the top of the hour. When we do start, it will be with our usual Opening Statements from The Dignitaries, before we move on to our latest look at the presidential race -- which will be officially underway with the balloting in one month. So much is happening: Hillary's lead is shrinking, Joe Biden threatens impeachment, Huck's surge continues, the Mitt-and-Rudy dog-and-pony show drags along, McCain gets endorsed by the #1 newspaper in New Hampshire -- and that's not even counting the infamous YouTube debate! We'll examine the big picture in the Democrat and Republican races and get you ready for our first FDH Presidential Fantasy Draft on the next program (December 16), when we assemble armies of politicians and vie for points in the 2008 elections!

In Hour Two, after the presidential talk gives way to other subjects, we examine the unprecedented circumstances surrounding the shocking death of NFL star Sean Taylor. From there, it's on to another installment of Celebrity Deaths in Threes (Taylor is not included -- too soon!) and then our FDH Lounge Chief Entertainment Dignitary Samantha Jones (boy is that name easier to type than her maiden name!) tells you about the entertainment-oriented gifts you should be asking for and buying for others this holiday season.

In Hour Three, baseball writer Eric Gold joins us to take a look at the postseason awards and the state of the Hot Stove and the rumors and transactions flying all around. We wrap up with our FDH Lounge Pigskin Report with a look back at NFL Week 13 and a look ahead to the college football postseason with all the bowl and title game pairings finalized earlier in the night.

There's so many interesting developments going on in the world and only one show that can bring you educated and above all entertaining takes on all of them: The Great American Radio Show on Internet TV, The FDH Lounge.

The Presidential Race / NFL Playoff Push

by Jason Jones

Imagine for a moment, if you will, the Presidential nominees in an NFL style playoff run. Mind you, not in the playoffs, but a playoff run. As the landscape of the NFL begins to take shape, we start to realize not every team is worthy of a spot based on the competition ahead of them. The same can be said about the presidential nominees that have no place in this race (namely Ron Paul).

If we are to fairly examine both sides we must create a depth chart or power ranking of both the NFL and the presidential nominees. These are the rankings as I see them:

(Note my opinion does not reflect that of the FDH Lounge, FantasyDraftHelp.com or any of its subsidiaries)

NFL ------ Nominees

1 New England Patriots ------ 1 Fred Thompson

2 Indianapolis Colts ------ 2 Rudy Guiliani

3 Dallas Cowboys ------ 3 John McCain

4 Green Bay Packers ------ 4 Barack Obama

5 Pittsburgh Steelers ------ 5 Mike Huckabee (name change rec.)

6 Detroit Lions ------ 6 Tom Tancredo

7 New York Giants ------ 7 Dennis Kucinich

8 Washington Redskins ------ 8 Bill Richardson

9 Cleveland Browns ------ 9 Duncan Hunter

10 Tennessee Titans ------ 10 Joe Biden

11 Tampa Bay Buccaneers ------ 11 Mike Gravel

12 Jacksonville Jaguars ------ 12 Chris Dodd

13 San Diego Chargers ------ 13 Ron Paul

14 Baltimore Ravens ------ 14 John Edwards

15 New Orleans Saints ------ 15 Mitt Romney

16 Buffalo Bills ------ 16 Hillary Clinton

Now for some explanations. Starting with the Nominees side, I am sure most of you are wondering why my power rankings in almost no way mimic that of the American public. Well, in short, people can be very smart, but groups of people are F@#!ing retarded!!! We will revisit this idea later.

- Starting at the top, Fred Thompson is the most well rounded perfect candidate on the docket. Consequently, this is where the first tier ends. If you do not agree you are entitled to your opinion like the stupid people are entitled to reproduce. This piece is not a debate over the candidates, maybe as we get closer we will do just that.

- Second is Rudy Guiliani, I am not especially riveted by this guy; especially when he mentions being in charge during 9-11. I do get the impression that he could do the job. He would be popular. Whether you like it or not, the average American doesn’t really care about the specific nature of the issues, it’s a feel thing. For some strange reason Rudy rubs people the right way.

- Third is John McCain, for those that know me, this one is probably a shock. There is on doubt, saying he has been underwhelming in the debates is a vast a polite understatement. Nixon looked more calm and collected versus JFK in the debate forum. Bottom line, John McCain knows how to play the game. I do not agree with even the vast majority of candidacy to this point, but he could do the job with a veteran savvy. This ends the second tier.

- Fourth is Barack Obama, the first Democrat on the list and believe me if I considered my party bias the first Democrat would probably come in around 9. He is very very green. This is where my confidence that the candidate is competent enough to do the job waivers. Obama is like a great top shelf minor league baseball player. He looks like he can play the part, his record looks good, and he’s confident that he can play with the big boys. Then he gets there and everyone wonders why his .385 batting average doesn’t translate literally to the majors. Some day Obama might be a great politician, but today is not that day. We need to send him back to the senate and let him work out the kinks for a while.

- Fifth is Mike Huckabee. Lets be honest, he just seems like a good guy. Do you remember that story about conservation? The one where he ride his bicycle to the grocery store to conserve on the gas he uses in his environmentally friendly car and his kids laugh at him for it? Do you remember that? I thought, “aw that’s sweet, what nice guy, a little HIPPY-ish for me, but a nice guy”. News flash, it should take more than NICE GUY. I’m sure under his old and alien like physique, Bob Dole is a nice guy. But would you have felt comfortable 10 minutes after watching any network television on September 11^th, knowing he was probably cowered in some corner sucking on his binkie?

- Sixth is Tom Tancredo. First and foremost, Tom we get it. You don’t like foreigners. Maybe its just illegals from South America. Maybe he doesn’t like Canadians, Europeans, Asians, or Russians if they are here illegally. If that’s the case, this point is mute anyway. You still have to admire the solid Titanium balls on that guy to be so adamant about a single issue. I could have sworn I heard in a debate, Tancredo conclude that the answer to an exit strategy to the Iraq conflict and Universal Heath Care will come in solving our illegal immigration issue. I bet if he could he would have military snipers every 5 feet from California to Florida. Oh, and just a thought. Do you think an American born, suburb raised, heterosexual, 30 something man with a Business Administrations bachelor degree, who pledged for a well renouned fraternity in the Ivy League laid the foundation on his house? Just speculation, but I am pretty sure some illegal contributed to Tancredo’s life positively in some way…and that probably burns him up.

- Seventh is Dennis Kucinich. Not a popular guy. In the Presidential Election ’08 made for tv movie, Kucinich would be played by D.J. Qualls (the skinny kid from Road Trip). Nobody likes creepy to greet you when you’re expecting another spine tingling episode of 24 and get D.J. Qualls addressing the nation. I cannot see Kucinich running the country, but I want to believe he is a good honest man when all is said and done. This concludes the third tier.

- Eighth is Bill Richardson. Let’s not sugar coat it. This is where the bottom falls out. I do not claim to know much about the rest of these with three exceptions. The truth is aside from hearing Richardson spout off his political resume during a debate and his appearance on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, I’ve got nothing on Richardson. He seems like a decent guy who has some gumption. Besides, this list should have ended at Tancredo anyway.

- Ninth is Duncan Hunter. At least he is a Republican. He has no chance, which is a major part of this exercise.

- Tenth is Joe Biden. Again, I could see him doing the job. He has said a great deal of things that I do not agree with, but aside from Fred Thompson, there is not going to be a candidate I will agree with 95% of the time.

- Eleventh is Mike Gravel. Again, I have nothing. I have not heard much one way or the other. What I have heard has forced me to change the channel. While watching presidential debates, one must have an alternate channel to click to when the responses get unbearable. I recommend ESPN Classic or the Discovery Channel. Anything that resides on the other end of the spectrum from Politics.

- Twelfth is Chris Dodd. Insert previous statement here. Conclude tier four

- Thirteenth is Ron Paul. Strap in ladies and gentleman this one begins the tri-fecta of doom. Ron Paul is a hack! A phony, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I know he has somewhat of following, but so did Ross Perot. Ron Paul is not only bad for president, he’s bad for politics in general. He doesn’t play by the rules. I get it, Libertarian, Liberal Republican, Left Wing Republican, or whatever you want to call him. He should be running as an independent. At least that way the lobe of the American Human brain that tells us to almost disregard Independents because the math precludes them from winning, he would finally get the attention he deserves. Next to none. He’s is a hippie claiming to be the image that the Republican party should be. Believe me, I am not one to say that a single former President embodies every iota that oozes “Republican”. It just seems to me, if the entire party thinks Ronald Reagan is the Republican party, then Ron Paul is as far away from that as one can be without literally being a Democrat.

- Fourteenth is John Edwards. C’mon, are we serious. John Freaking Edwards. Has there ever been a Nominee that more exemplified the smelly kid who wanted to be cool? He’s the kid at the park who wants to be picked to play in the game and keeps getting passed over for kids who are busy doing other things (like 30 yards away on another part of the park). I also get the impression that if he were to be the next president, he is the kind of guy who would have the angle of, “fine, I’m taking my ball and going home, you guys suck!” Which is not really the attitude you want your president to have when dealing with foreign policy and cabinet meetings.

- Fifteenth is Mitt Romney. I really hope you have your seatbelt on for the next two. Plain and simple. Do not believe this devilish swindler. I bet that if I had a 60 inch High Definition television with all of the HD channels and watched a Republican Debate, I would clearly see the horns poke out through the skin on his forehead. Politically, Mitt Romney is the ANTI-CHRIST. The guy has one general thought process when he wants to get elected in Massachusetts, and a completely different thought process to get elected to president. When people bitch and moan about why they don’t like politics and more specifically, politicians; guess what? Mitt Romney is who they are talking about.

- Sixteenth is Hillary “Holy F#@K You Can’t Be Serious” Clinton. I cannot believe this is even a remote possibility. I keep waiting to wake up from what can only be confused as 2 year comma. I keep hoping I’ll wake up and say to someone, “Does Hillary really have a shot”, just to be told she was never even a candidate and that I must have dreamt the whole thing. Remember I said, people can be smart but groups of people can be retarded. In the trial of the State vs. Group’s of People’s Sanity, the prosecution presents Hillary Clinton for President of the United States into evidence as exhibit alpha. This is such a bad idea on so many levels. I’ll admit, aside from Bill downsizing the military to a dreadfully dangerous number, I did not hate Bill Clinton. Just because the majority of the average American populous believe Clinton was a good president is not enough to give Hillary the benefit of the doubt. This is not a gender issue. This is a Hillary Clinton is a crazy bitch issue. Speaking of crazy bitches, am I the only level headed American who is deathly afraid of Hillary Clinton and Nancy Peloci joining their powers of evil combining to create the kind of super villain that the minds of Stan Lee and Todd McFarlane could not dream up. It would be the catalyst for the apocalypse. Nothing she says makes any sense, she just parades around in slip on shoes and pant suits hoping the people will believe the answer to fixing this country is to have a female president; and she’s the only one. Believe me the bitch is banking on it. I am pleading with every American, don’t let it happen. Further food for thought, if Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney consummated and conceived a child, that child would undo existence. It would unravel the threads of life. Dark would become light, good would become evil, right would become left, “in short, it would un-make the world”

Now that we have addressed all of the candidates, it is time to bring the NFL into this discussion. The problem here is the AFC is the Republican Party and NFC is the Democratic Party. In one tier all by themselves are the New England Patriots and the Indianapolis Colts; there’s no two ways about it. New England is just insane. Arguably the best offense I have personally ever seen. And Indianapolis is inches behind New England after coming off last years SuperBowl win. The second tier has the Dallas Cowboys all by themselves. What a difference a free wheeling coach makes. Same players, different result. Tier three doesn’t make any sense. Why is Green Bay winning? Why has Pittsburgh only lost twice? Brett Favre and a collection 3^rd + round picks. He should be babysitting not winning football games. Pittsburgh, they’re o.k., but top 5? C’mon, somebody step up and expose them PLEASE!!! They are not THAT good. Tier four is again where things start to loosen up. Detroit is doing better than they ever have in a non Barry Sanders season. Statistically, offense and defense at the top. New York Giants finally woke up. This team puts season long sack numbers up in one game, thus elevating some of the pressures that Eli Manning cannot handle on his own. The Washington Redskins are all around o.k. Young QB is getting better, solid running game, 17 #2 and #3 WR’s, a good TE, and a solid Defense-nothing exciting. And that’s tier four. Tier five brings tears to my eyes. The Cleveland Browns. I never thought I’d see the day when I could say the Browns at least have a shot (ever week). They are alone on this tier because after this, no team can claim balance. The next tier, 6, is where it gets sloppy. Tennessee Titans keep winning despite the fact their QB hasn’t thrown 1,000 yds yet and has more INT’s than TD’s and has no one else on offense worth a damn. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have a pretty decent passing game right now and a no-name running back by committee system. If Jacksonville ever becomes a team with no defense, they will be the worst team in the league. I bet they wish they had all of there QB and WR draft picks and traded players to pick over again. This season the Chargers have LT, but not much else. This is not the team that went 14-2 last season, unless you want to put all of the fault on the GM for firing Marty. Tier seven has two former playoff teams who are playing drastically under the mean. Baltimore and New Orleans. Not to be harsh, but the whole “playing to win for the victims of hurricane katrina” can only take you so far. Let’s face it, Baltimore peaked. The defense is getting old and the offense has been dog s#@t since Billick got the job; offensive guru my ass. The last and eighth tier belongs to Buffalo. Who knows what’s going on up there. Lynch is nice and the rest of the kids are having fun and playing well since week 3.

So, what does it all mean. All of the previous comes down to one concept. Who belongs and who doesn’t. In the NFL, just because 12 teams make the playoffs, doesn’t mean 12 teams are worthy of being in the playoffs. In the Presidential Race, 16 nominees is unacceptable. If Cleveland beat Pittsburgh in the first round, or Buffalo beat Dallas that wouldn’t be right-and it won’t happen. The bottom line is no matter who you are a fan of, not everyone is worthy. There’s an old saying, “That’s why they play the game”, horse s#@t. The same is true with this presidential race. Sure the Patriots, Colts, Cowboys, Packers, Steelers, and Lions probably deserve to be in the playoffs. Washington through Buffalo probably do not. Similarly, from Mike Huckabee on down also do not belong in the Presidential Nominee push. Narrow the debate’s contestants. Sorry Democrats, call back when you have someone worth pushing. Give Dole a call maybe he’ll join the race for you. Just like in the NFL, it isn’t a question of who should win the SuperBowl. It’s a question of whoever wins the Republican nomination should be the next president. Its not an issue of Democrat vs Republican. There just is not a legitimate Democrat worth voting for. Just like, no matter how hard Dallas, Green Bay, or Detroit try they will not should not and on this plane of existence cannot beat Indianapolis or New England. Whoever wins that AFC championship game should be crowned the winner. While Tom Brady or Peyton Manning are hoisting the AFC title trophy there should be a small man engraving the Lombardi Trophy to that same team. The same is true for the Presidential Nominees. McCain is better than any Democrat. Rudy Guiliani is better than any Democrat. There is no question, Fred Thompson is better than any Democrat; this time around or possibly in the last decade or more.

All in all, just be smart. Just because someone is literally in the race, doesn’t mean they have a legitimate shot at winning or have earned the right to waste your valuable time and energy listening to their s#@t.

Clinton = Apocolypse

Romney = Apocolypse

Ron Paul = Woodstock at the White House

Fred Thompson = Top 10 President in History

Rudy Guiliani = Competent Politician

John McCain = Great Candidate 3, 5, 8 years ago

Cleveland Browns, SuperBowl Champs = Apocolypse

Detroit Lions, SuperBowl Champs = Apocolypse

Pittsburgh Steelers, SuperBowl Champs = The books are cooked in Vegas

Green Bay Packers, SuperBowl Champs = I saw this movie before, it was more realistic in the 1990’s

Just be careful, and remember to think for yourselves. They are politicians after all.

Pat Robertson's 30 pieces of silver

By Rick Morris

Pat Buchanan's forecast that Rudy Giuliani would try to bridge his differences with social conservatives by buying them off with militarism is paying off -- witness his endorsement by Pat Robertson, one of the big poohbahs of the Social Issues Right since the 1980s. Apparently the willingness to bomb Iran on the drop of a dime transcends every other difference that is supposed to exist between Robertson and the thrice-married drag queen.

Robertson's sellout of the pro-life and traditional marriage community is shameful but not unexpected. For all the rhetoric about leaders of the "far right" in this country, most of them have proven to be phonies and sellouts who want a place at the table far more than they want the advancement of their principles. The best example of all comes from the leadup to the 1996 Republican presidential race, when Bill Clinton was at a low ebb and several candidates with a legitimate conservative pedigree were entering the fray: Buchanan, Phil Gramm, Steve Forbes and Alan Keyes among others. So who did Ralph Reed and other alleged "radical right" potentates line up behind? Good old Mr. Establishment Bob Dole.

For those who have appointed themselves as the leaders and guardians of right-wing thought, viability always trumps every other principle, including integrity and idealism. On the same day Robertson shamed himself by traipsing hat-in-hand to the anti-life frontrunner in the presidential race, Kansas Senator Sam Brownback was putting a period at the end of his campaign by endorsing fellow Senator John McCain. Brownback's effort was doomed when leaders of the so-called "Religious Right" refused to rally to the side of the most consistently pro-life candidate ever to run for president. He wasn't "viable" enough in the polls for them -- in the winter of 2006-07, mind you, when the Howard Dean precedent of 2003 proved that a longshot had plenty of time to catch on -- and they abandoned him to be willfully misled by politicians they know will let them down if elected.

The blogs and message machine on the Left always bemoans the alleged all-powerful influence of the leaders of the "Religious Right." This country should be so lucky. They're a bunch of whimpering, toothless sellouts just like so many other influence-chasers in D.C.

Real Republican or Phony Plastic Panderer?

By Rick Morris

Mitt Romney's laughable assertion that he represents the "Republican wing of the Republican party" in the 2008 presidential race represents a rare misstep in his preprogrammed plastic pandering path to the GOP nomination. His creepy Max Headroom affectations aside, Romney has tried to get ahead by essentially repudiating the status quo moderation which had previously represented his career -- and now, by taking his "I'm one of you" gaga a step too far, he's invited the kind of rhetorical beatdown that John McCain has since dropped on him. Frankly, it doesn't take someone with even a fraction of my "Mad Google-Fu Skillz" to expose Mitt the Mendacious for the Fantastic Fraud that he is:

* He famously said that he was an independent in the '80s and didn't want a return to the days of Reagan-Bush.

* He said during his 1994 Massachusetts Senate campaign that abortion should be safe and legal and praised Roe v Wade as the law of the land.

* He disregarded the Second Amendment when it suited his needs in the People's Republic of Massachusetts.

* He was a great pal of "the love that dare not speak its name" back in the aforementioned Bay State.

* He trumps up similarities to standard Christianity to attempt to suck up to the Republican base while belonging to a religion that has, among its many "interesting" points, the notion of no unified Trinity, the Book of Mormon being a co-equal document to the Bible, and the notion that God has a physical manifestation.

His convenient reversal on the first four points just happened to coincide with his move from electoral pursuits in the Chomskyite state of Massachusetts to the national stage and a conservative base unforgiving of his heresies. While Romney has his useful idiots who are willing to sell out all principles for whatever jaded reason to be a part of his demeaning sideshow, legitimate conservatives are distinguishing themselves by choosing not to be part of the poser campaign of Romney or New York liberal Rudy Giuliani.