O.J. Simpson? Never Heard of Him

By Tony Mazur

Which task is harder to complete: Finding a cure for cancer, or finding twelve people who have never heard of O.J. Simpson?

The jury selection for Simpson's robbery trial has begun. This should be interesting.

"If you are here thinking you are going to punish Mr. Simpson for what happened in Los Angeles in 1995, this is not the case for you," said Judge Jackie Glass. "If you’re looking to become famous because of your service in this case, write a book, then this is not the case for you."

What Judge Glass is saying is that we all have an agenda. Let's be honest. Everyone and their grandmother wants O.J. locked up for good. And when I say everyone, I include all races. He coined the phrase "getting away with murder".

If we're going to put Juice away, let's do it the right way. No more bloody gloves. No more racial wiretaps, and no more semi-retarded witnesses. Let's find him guilty, put him in prison, and throw away the key. Then we can finally move on with our lives.

Is this the mid-nineties resurrected? Pam Anderson is involved in another heavily-publicized relationship, Bill Clinton's still in the news, the Dallas Cowboys are good, and O.J.'s on trial. Can we hear a little "Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba while we're at it?