Please support a great cause this weekend

By Rick Morris

EDIT: As of 10:45 PM EST Saturday night, we are up to $250 in pledges, mostly from the Rick Springfield fans listening now to Uncle Paul Belfi's DJing. Thank you very much. I'm updating at the bottom to provide notes for our wrestling segment from 2-4 PM EST with a capsule look at what has transpired of note at every one of the first 23 WrestleManias and one man's opinion about the top 10 stars of the WrestleMania era never to appear on the card. Also, I'm attaching an approximate guide to which baseball brackets (read below!) will be discussed when.


I'm writing this mere hours before we go on the air at SportsTalkCleveland.com/SportsTalkNetwork.com for our 4th annual Up All Night/Up All Day Marathon to Benefit the Carol Morris Scholarship Fund at Bowling Green State University. THE FDH LOUNGE program will be just one part of an extended broadcast to benefit an excellent cause. Go to STC or STN at the above links to listen and/or watch the proceedings.

This scholarship program is a memorial fund in honor of my mother, Carol Morris, who worked in special education. I urge all of you to visit the home page for the fund and also for our benefit show at www.fantasydrafthelp.com/carol_morris.html , but I'm going to bring all of the relevant info over here also. I also want to profusely thank our event sponsor, TAHJ Capital. This is corporate philanthropy at its finest, and I cannot express my personal appreciation enough.

Here is everything straight off of the aforementioned fund/program home page:

NEW INFORMATION: FOURTH ANNUAL SPORTSTALK CLEVELAND.COM MARATHON FUNDRAISER TO BENEFIT THE CAROL MORRIS SCHOLARSHIP FUND IS THIS WEEKEND, MARCH 1-2! DETAILS BELOW ...

The Carol Morris Scholarship Fund at Bowling Green State University is the official charitable cause of FantasyDrafthelp.com. Named for Managing Partner Rick Morris’ mother, a longtime teacher and tutor, the memorial fund is directed towards students striving for a career in special education.

The fund has been the chosen cause of three annual “Up All Night Marathons.” These broadcasts, which have aired on SportsTalkNetwork.com, have helped bring the fund closer to its goal of vesting at $25,000. When fully vested, the fund will exist in perpetuity and help bring committed individuals into the vital field of special education.

To donate to the fund, make checks payable to: BGSU Foundation, Inc.

On the memo line of the check, please write: Carol Morris Scholarship Fund 30-000812

Mail checks to:
Office of Development
Attn: Erin Keller
Bowling Green State University
Bowling Green, OH 43403

Donations can also be made online at the following web address: http://giving.bgsu.edu/development/fundingopps/onlinegiving.jsp

FOURTH ANNUAL FUNDRAISING MARATHON PROGRAM ANNOUNCED!

The 4th Annual SportsTalkNetwork.com Up All Day Marathon to benefit the Carol Morris Scholarship Fund at Bowling Green State University will run for 27 hours, from Saturday, March 1 at 9 PM to Sunday, March 2 at Midnight EST. This year's program will bring you special extra editions of your favorite STN programs for a very special cause. The following shows are involved.

^ THE FDH LOUNGE (the program where nothing is off-topic)

^ THE FANTASYDRAFTHELP.COM INSIDER (fantasy sports)

^ THE GOON SQUAD (hockey)

^ SEVENTH INNING SLOUCH (baseball)

^ PRO WRESTLING INSIDER (professional wrestling)

^ NAAFS RADIO (mixed martial arts)

^ THE RICK SPRINGFIELD MARATHON (Rick Springfield music and fan interaction)

Here is the tentative lineup as of Friday, February 28 (all times EST):

9 PM to 10 AM: 13 hours of THE RICK SPRINGFIELD MARATHON as the world's foremost Springfield DJ, Paul Belfi, spins tunes from the entire catalog.

10 AM to 2 PM: SEVENTH INNING SLOUCH presents bracket-style voting with a roundtable panel to determine the best players in baseball at each position. This segment features Round One of the brackets at every position (there are 8 players in the bracket at each position except right-handed pitcher, which has 16 players). We will be joined at about Noon by SportsNetwork.com baseball analyst Eric Gold. Position battles are listed below the show information.

2 PM to 4 PM: PRO WRESTLING INSIDER features the WrestleMania roundtable: a past, present and future look at the biggest rasslin' event of the year. For the first part of our discussion, we will be joined by Wrestleology analyst Russ Cohen.

4 PM to 4:30 PM: SEVENTH INNING SLOUCH presents the baseball brackets, with part of Round Two.

4:30 PM to 5 PM: THE FDH LOUNGE welcomes Zach Landres-Schnur, proprietor of THE BIG PICTURE sports blog.

5 PM to 5:30 PM: THE FDH LOUNGE interviews William Gheen, President and Spokesman for Americans for Legal Immigration, the group trying to draft CNN news anchor Lou Dobbs to run for President of the United States.

5:30 PM to 6:30 PM: SEVENTH INNING SLOUCH presents the rest of Round Two of the baseball brackets.

6:30 PM to 7:00 PM: SEVENTH INNING SLOUCH interviews Joe Aiello, founder of THE VIEW FROM THE BLEACHERS Chicago Cubs blog.

7:00 PM to 8:00 PM: SEVENTH INNING SLOUCH presents the final round of the baseball brackets.

8:00 PM to 8:30 PM: THE FANTASYDRAFTHELP.COM INSIDER presents a 2008 NFL Draft Preview with FantasyDrafthelp.com Senior Editor and Chief NFL Draft Analyst Jason Jones.

8:30 PM to 9:00 PM: THE FDH LOUNGE takes its first look ahead to an Obama/McCain presidential race with a roundtable preview.

9:00 PM to 9:30 PM: THE FDH LOUNGE speaks to Lounge Dignitary Nathan Noy about the most entertaining congressional race in the country in 2008.

9:30 PM to 10:00 PM: NAAFS RADIO presents a look inside the MMA world's greatest combined amateur/professional circuit with North American Allied Fight Series executive producer Jake Digman.

10:00 PM to 10:30 PM: THE FDH LOUNGE interviews the IRL correpondant for Most Valuable Network, Christopher Estrada about the big open-wheel racing merger just announced this week.

10:30 PM to 11:00 PM: THE FDH LOUNGE prepares you to fill out your NCAA hoops brackets in a few weeks with a look ahead to Championship Week and the field of 65.

11:00 PM to 11:30 PM: THE GOON SQUAD interviews hockey journalist John Kreiser of NHL.com.

11:30 PM to Midnight: THE FANTASYDRAFTHELP.COM INSIDER interviews Fanball.com Managing Editor Ray Flowers for an early look at fantasy baseball Draft Day.

Baseball brackets

Catcher

Martinez vs. Molina

Mauer vs. Posada

McCann vs. Pudge

Martin vs. Johjima

First Base

Pujols vs. Konerko

Morneau vs. Pena

Howard vs. Berkman

Fielder vs. Lee

Second Base

Utley vs. Polanco

Uggla vs. Kent

Cano vs. Roberts

Phillips vs. Ellis

Shortstop

Rollins vs. Hardy

Jeter vs. Tulowitzki

Ramirez vs. Tejada

Reyes vs. Greene

Third Base

Rodriguez vs. Lowell

Ramirez vs. Atkins

Cabrera vs. C. Jones

Wright vs. Glaus

Left Field

Ramirez vs. Byrnes

Crawford vs. Lee

Soriano vs. Braun

Holliday vs. Matsui

Center Field

B.J. Upton vs. Wells

Hunter vs. A. Jones

Beltran vs. Ichiro

Sizemore vs. Granderson

Right Field

Guerrero vs. Hawpe

Francouer vs. Markakis

Rios vs. Dye

Ordonez vs. C. Hart

Designated Hitters

Ortiz vs. Thomas

Thome vs. Bonds

Hafner vs. Cust

Sheffield vs. Sosa

Left-Handed Pitchers

Santana vs. Buehrle

Kazmir vs. Ol. Perez

Liriano vs. Hamels

Sabathia vs. Francis

Right-Handed Pitchers

Beckett vs. Hudson

Oswalt vs. Halladay

C. Young vs. Penny

Lackey vs. Smoltz

Peavy vs. F. Hernandez

Haren vs. Bedard

Verlander vs. Carmona

Webb vs. Zambrano

Closers

Papelbon vs. Rivera

Putz vs. F. Cordero

Nathan vs. Hoffman

F. Rodriguez vs. Wagner

Here are the half-hour segments when we will discuss the position battles (all times EST and approximate, keeping in mind that the first round is in two parts for the RHP position since there are twice as many players involved):

FIRST ROUND

10:00 AM: 7 RHP

10:30 AM: 1 RHP, 4C, 2 1B

11:00 AM: 2 1B, 4 2B, 1 SS

11:30 AM: 3 SS, 4 3B

12:00 Noon: 4 LF, 3 CF

12:30 PM: 1 CF, 4 RF, 2 DH

1:00 PM: 2 DH, 4 LHP, 1 CL

1:30 PM: 3 CL, 4 RHP

SECOND ROUND

4:00 PM: 2 C, 2 1B, 2 2B, 2 SS

5:30 PM: 2 3B, 2 LF, 2 CF, 2 RF

6:00 PM: 2 DH, 2 LHP, 2 CL, 2 RHP

FINAL ROUND

7:00 PM: 1 C, 1 1B, 1 2B, 1 SS, 1 3B, 1 LF

7:30 PM: 1 CF, 1 RF, 1 DH, 1 LHP, 1 CL, 1 RHP

Notes on past WrestleManias

I: Important because it started it all, Andre beat Studd in bodyslam challenge, Hogan/T vs. Piper/Orndorf set the template for WrestleMania, Sheik/Volkoff tag title win kept them hot as foreign heels.

II: Hugely important because it solidified Mania as a big-time event, only one to take place in 3 cities, Refrigerator Perry in Chicago main event (battle royal), Piper/T boxing match was Roddy’s swan song as a heel, Hogan/Bundy in a cage may have been Hulk’s least memorable Mania match, but set the template for every title defense vs. a big man he had in that era.

III: 93,000 at the Silverdome set a new standard for crowds, Hogan/Andre was some of the greatest buildup ever and the match was great for not having any workrate, Steamboat/Savage was the first undercard show-stealer at a Mania, Roddy Piper’s “retirement match,” Duggan’s run-in vs. Sheik/Volkoff pioneered the concept of having a wrestler debut at Mania.

IV: 4-hour tournament rates as one of the most boring Manias, Hogan/Andre double-DQ rated as the most shocking Mania moment to that point, Hogan saving Savage in the main event was the first pass-the-torch moment at Mania, Bret’s face turn at end of battle royal.

V: Hogan/Savage main event was as emotion-filled as Hogan/Piper tag match at I and Hogan/Andre at III, Piper/Brother Love/Morton Downey Jr. segment foreshadowed the dawn of “sports entertainment segments” at Mania.

VI: Hogan/Warrior main event was completely unique for its time with face vs. face dynamic, first & only Mania for Dusty Rhodes, Andre’s swan song.

VII: Originally supposed to be 1^st outdoor Mania at L.A. Coliseum, later moved to L.A. Sports Arena, Hogan/Slaughter set a new standard for exploiting tragic world events, Kerry Von Erich & Undertaker Mania debuts, Warrior/Savage “retirement match” was the closest thing to a double main-event that had been seen yet.

VIII: Actual double main-event at HosierDome with Savage/Flair for the title and Hogan/Sid in Hogan’s “retirement match” and Warrior returning for the run-in at the end, Roberts & Piper also left after this show, Piper/Hart was show-stealing undercard match that helped establish Hart, Paul Ellering & Lex Luger showed up on camera for the first time.

IX: First outdoor show, double main-event with Hart/Yoko and Hogan/Beefcake/Money Inc. tag title match and Hogan making the “impromptu” challenge to take the belt from Yoko in the end, Steiner Brothers’ only Mania match, Jim Ross debuts infamously in a toga.

X: Bret & Luger both get title shots as Bret wins but loses earlier to Owen, Michaels/Razor ladder match sets a new standard for midcard showstealing matches.

XI: Double main-event with Diesel/Shawn for the title but LT/Bigelow actually goes on last.

XII: Michaels/Hart Ironman match, Austin’s Mania debut, Warrior’s return with a squash of HHH, Piper/Goldust “Backlot Brawl”

XIII: Double main-event with Undertaker’s first title match at Mania vs. Sid and Hart/Austin “I Quit” with famous double-turn, Vader/Mankind tag match vs. Owen/Bulldog, The Rock’s Mania debut in infamous debacle match vs. Sultan.

XIV: Austin’s first title win ever in Michaels’ last match for 4 ½ years, The Rock gets first serious “cool heel” heat in interview with Gennifer Flowers, Terry Funk’s return to Mania after 12 years in match with Cactus Jack/New Age Outlaws, Sunny debuts with “LOD 2000,” Kane’s first Mania match vs. Undertaker with Pete Rose altercation with Kane beforehand, Gorilla Monsoon’s last on-screen appearance.

XV: 1^st Austin/Rock Mania match, Butterbean/Gunn boxing massacre, 2^nd Kane/Pete Rose altercation, HHH/Kane double-turn.

2000: 1^st multi-person main event with Rock/HHH/Mankind/Big Show and a McMahon in each corner, HHH notches 1^st heel win ever in a Mania title match, Edge/Christian/Hardys/Dudleys ladder match, 3^rd Kane/Pete Rose altercation, 1^st Mania for Benoit/Jericho/Angle as they all faced each other for the I-C & European titles.

XVII: 1^st dome Mania in 9 years, 2^nd Austin/Rock title match at Mania with ill-fated Austin turn at end, first Vinny Mac Mania match vs. Shane, WCW wrestlers in skybox watching right after “Shane’s” acquisition, Paul Heyman’s only Mania on commentary, Edge/Christian/Dudleys/Hardys TLC 2 match, Benoit/Angle match featuring much amateur wrestling early on, HHH loses to Undertaker.

XVIII: HHH/Jericho only Mania match for “Undisputed” Title, Rock/Hogan match with strange crowd reaction, Austin/Hall disappointing match, Undertaker/Flair match with Arn Anderson run-in.

XIX: Another dome show at Safeco Field in Seattle, 1^st Mania of split-brand era with 2 brand title matches, HHH gets 2^nd heel win ever in Mania title match by pinning Booker T, Lesnar/Angle title match is the last one before Angle’s 1^st injury hiatus in WWE, Hogan/McMahon match gets surprise run-in from Piper, 3^rd Austin/Rock Mania match is Austin’s last as full-time competitor and is Rock’s last singles match at Mania.

XX: Benoit/Eddy celebrate unlikely title wins together at end of show, Rock’s last Mania match comes in tag match with Foley/Orton/Batista/Flair in Foley’s big return match, infamous Goldberg/Lesnar “farewell match,” Paul Bearer’s surprise return for second Undertaker/Kane match at Mania.

XXI: Cena’s first title win comes in the midcard as Batista’s title win against HHH ends the show, Angle/Michaels “dream match,” Edge wins first “Money In the Bank” match, Austin/Piper/Carlito segment, Hogan run-in vs. Hassan.

XXII: Cena/HHH title match with “bizarro crowd,” Rey wins title in 3-way with Angle/Orton, Edge/Foley “hardcore match,” RVD wins “Money In the Bank,” Michaels/McMahon no-holds-barred match.

XXIV: Return to domed stadium in Detroit area 20 years later, Cena/Michaels helps cement Cena on top tier, Undertaker beats Batista for title, Lashley/Umaga match forces McMahon’s head to be shaved by Trump, Sabu & Sandman make only Mania appearances.

Ten greatest North American stars of the WrestleMania era never to wrestle at WrestleMania:

1. Sting

2. Bruiser Brody

3. Nick Bockwinkel

4. Superstar Billy Graham

5. Steve Williams

6. The Freebirds

7. Kevin Von Erich

8. Abdullah the Butcher

9. Samoa Joe

10. Kevin Sullivan

80th Annual Academy Awards

by The Joneses

First and foremost, it takes a unique individual to stomach every detail of the Academy. For instance, it is our belief that there should be a threshold of box office earnings that would qualify a movie for consideration. This way, you, me, everyone would at least be familiar with the movies being nominated. Have you seen Atonement? Or La Vie En Rose? Into The Wild? Or I’m Not There? Didn’t think so. The biggest issue we have with the Oscars is that it doesn’t award movies that anyone gives a s*** about. If we cared about Atonement, the box office number would be drastically larger. That is our vote, paying to see the movie. Take for example, 300, Transformers, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, or Knocked Up. These are four movies that are extremely entertaining, and we saw each of them multiple times at the theater. If no one aside from the Academy members went to see it, it clearly was not worthy of the viewing public’s time, and thus, is not worthy of a nomination for the industry’s greatest honor. We will attempt to navigate through the night’s categories, nominees, winners, and losers. We will also be giving our own editorial commentary on the validity or correctness of the results. Note to reader: Not all categories deserve your attention, so we will save you the time and conveniently omit them.

Jason in Blue

Samm in Red

Costume Design-Presented by Jennifer Garner

Across The Universe

Atonement

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Aside from the fact that I believe Jennifer Garner is a tool and puts a damper on this category just by reading it, Elizabeth: The Golden Age is probably worthy of this award. Just look at Cate Blanchett’s dress whites as queen. One could make the argument that they deserve this particular Oscar on that outfit alone. To be honest, I was pulling for Across the Universe. Since it is the movie I have most recently seen, and I also sing its praises…it was the nominee that had my rooting interest.

First off, Jennifer Garner has a man face. At least she tried to cover it up with her hair. Now, I have only seen one of the three nominees. But, just from the previews, this was a great pick. Just the beading alone on the costumes is Oscar worthy. And, like Jason mentioned above, Across the Universe is the movie we have most recently watched and enjoyed, so naturally, we were both rooting for it. The designers needed to come up with new ideas, not just copy things from history books. It’s not that hard to copy a 1940’s army uniform. My mother could do it. Oh yeah, and if you win the Oscar for Best Costume Design, shouldn’t you know how to dress yourself? Who dressed these people tonight?

Best Animated Feature Film-Presented by Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway

Persepolis

Ratatouille

Surf’s Up

Having these two presenters coming out to the Get Smart theme (foreshadowing one of the summer’s big blockbusters) was great. Steve Carell began as if it thought he was presenting Best Documentary-Classic Michael Scott. For anyone who has children of almost any age or enjoys animated movies and hasn’t seen this film…you should be ashamed of yourself. Especially if you have kids, go out and buy this for them now…if not yourself. Patten Oswalt as a gifted young cook/mouse is priceless. Animated films are not meant for all adults, but this one works. I used it as a “date movie”, suck it!

I LOVE Steve Carell. He could read the phone book and make it funny. Ratatouille is the obvious pick for this category. How dare anyone defy the almighty Pixar! They shall smite you! Besides, it’s one of my favorite movies of the year. Seeing a cute, innocent mouse voiced by a swearing atheist like Patton Oswalt is just…..well, as Jason put it…..priceless. Patton Oswalt is one of my favorite comedians and I love that he can put aside the adult material and bow down to Mickey Mouse. It made for a great kids movie that adults could enjoy as well. Yes, Jason used it as a date movie…..and yes, he got some for it.

Best Achievement in Makeup-Presented by the stunning Katherine Heigl

La Vie En Rose

Norbit

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Katherine Heigl is attractive, but in presenting this award she was GOOD GOD…you can fill in the rest. This is generally a category I don’t really care about. Unless it goes to the wrong nominee. Like instant replay, it is important to get the correct result. Norbit is a no-brainer, with its latex and hours in the makeup chair-so throw it out. With what’s left, La Vie En Rose-replicate a previous era (something that resembles the 1940’s in France) or create an entire world filled with thousands of Pirates, Colonial Soldiers, witch craft women, etc. Which one sounds more impressive? That’s right, the one that did not win. Remember, especially for this post, “the right team doesn’t always win”.

Katherine Heigl – one of MY picks for the “I’d Hit That Draft”. I call shenanigans on this one. Le Vie En Rose – Never heard of it, so it shouldn’t count. Hell, just the makeup on Geoffrey Rush beat out BOTH of the other nominees. I mean come on. Making a guy as smoking hot as Johnny Depp look that nasty (but still hot, somehow) takes some serious skill. French movie – wrong, Pirates – right.

Best Visual Effects-Presented by Duane “the Rock” Johnson

The Golden Compass

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Transformers

The Rock had a bit about how the Visual Effects from Raiders of the Lost Ark gave him nightmares as a kid. Very funny. What’s not SO F***ING FUNNY, is how arguably the best action/childhood adaptation movie of a generation did not get the nod here. Look, I’ve seen two of the three nominees upwards of 15 times. The third only once. Golden Compass is a good movie. Visually, I get it, 80% of the movie is shot on a green screen so that the CG guys can fill in the rest. But creating green screen polar bears and flying machines pale in comparison to creating OPTIMUS PRIME!!! Or MEGATRON OR BUMBLE BEE OR RATCHET OR STARSCREAM OR I COULD GO ON…do you get the picture? A truck transforms into a robot with a ga-gillion moving parts. But, once again the academy gets it wrong and gives it to the movie with green-screened Polar Bears.

The Rock – I love that he can make fun of himself. This category was hard for me. I’m torn between the Pirates and the Transformers. The Golden Compass…yes, good movie (crappy ending, though), nice green screening, bonus points for casting The Marlboro Man. But, it’s just green screen. Transformers used REAL explosions that actually put the actors in real danger. The scene in the desert with the scorpion-looking thing where they’re all running in slow motion – that’s real terror on their face because if they fall, an explosive could go off in their face. With Pirates, there was SO MUCH CG work in it. Creating the maelstrom, the ships, and even Davey Jones himself. The poor guy had to play the role, pretending that he had tentacles on his face. They had to make up a new way to film him to be able to create the character visually. Academy gets it wrong and looses another point.

Best Art Direction-Presented by Cate Blanchett

American Gangster

Atonement

The Golden Compass

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

There Will Be Blood

There is a certain and very specific glow, sound, and cheer that comes over Mrs. Jones when she realizes that someone has adapted any Broadway musical into a feature-length film. It is no secret that I believe that full-on song and dance in movies distracts from said movie. Mrs. Jones believes almost the exact absolute value in the other direction. However, we both agree, this movie is GREAT. Like any other Tim Burton movie, there seems to be a darkness to the movie (which really has no bearing here, but) art direction was imperative to the success of this adaptation.

FINALLY! The Academy got one right. I absolutely LOVE the fact that the movie musical is making a comeback. I also love that we are finding out that many of these actors and actresses can really belt it out. Johnny Depp was an obvious choice for this…who else could play an Edward Scissorhands meets Jack Sparrow other than the man who brought both characters to life? Anyway, back on the subject…Sweeney Todd needed a certain darkness about it. It’s a VERY dark musical. The way it was designed and shot really got the point across to me. Bravo. Can’t wait for the movie adaptation of Jekyll and Hyde (just as long as David Hasselhoff does NOT reprise his role as Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. I’ll take Johnny Depp again, please!).

Best Supporting Actor-Presented by Jennifer Hudson

Casey Affleck (The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford)

Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men)

Philip Seymour Hoffman (Charlie Wilson’s War)

Hal Halbrook (Into the Wild)

Tom Wilkinson (Michael Clayton)

One note on fashion. Jennifer Hudson looked like a burrito left in the microwave too long. Certain people weren’t meant to be stuffed into certain garments. In a nutshell, if there is ever a “Supporting Actor” award and Philip Seymour Hoffman is in the building, he gets it…period. P.S. Hoffman is the quintessential supporting actor. This has been true since Scent of a Woman. Casey Affleck also looked convincing. No disrespect to Javier Bardem, but his role just wasn’t all that demanding.

Jennifer, honey, we’re bigger girls. We need to wear whole dresses. Cutouts are not for everyone. Javier Bardem is a good looking man if you like that whole rugged, Spanish thing he’s got going. I always like Casey Affleck (I actually like him better than his brother). Tom Wilkinson has a great line in Michael Clayton (I am Shiva the God of Death!). Javier Bardem is wrong, Philip Seymour Hoffman is right. Next.

Best Supporting Actress-Presented by Alan Arkin

Cate Blanchett (I’m Not There)

Ruby Dee (American Gangster)

Sarah Sheronin (Atonement)

Amy Ryan (Gone Baby Gone)

Tilda Swinton (Michael Clayton)

Clearly, Alan Arkin only has one meter of speaking-boring. When Cate Blanchett is not dressed for a part in a movie, she’s actually nice on the eyes. Ruby Dee is only in American Gangster for a short while. Atonement sucked something awful and all involved should offer to give the patrons their money back. Still haven’t seen Gone Baby Gone. With the exception of Atonement, any of the other 3 would be better than seeing Tilda Swinton. If someone walked by and said, “you look nice today” on any day…let God strike them down immediately. Whoa! She’s bad, and not really a stellar actress to boot.

I really couldn’t care less about anyone in this category. Cate Blanchett is a leading lady, not freaking Bob Dylan (who is probably one of the most BORING singer/singwriters ever. He’s so overrated). From what I saw of Ruby Dee, I probably would have gone with her. Tilda Swinton was only good as Gabriel in Constantine. And what in the ever-loving hell was she wearing? I looked like someone just draped some velour over her and said “It’s gorgeous! You’re ready!”…Kill me. This category sucked. Next, please.

Best Adapted Screenplay-Josh Brolin and James McAvoy

Atonement

Away From Her

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

No Country For Old Men

There Will Be Blood

“With My Brains And Your Looks, We Could Go Places”, that was Josh Brolin’s Jack impression. Which he immediately apologized to Jack for and offered to buy him a drink for making him suffer through the worst Jack Nicholson impression ever. I really have no particular rooting interest in this one, as long as Atonement doesn’t win. I am so tired of the boring sappy and strictly made for the academy movies…so F*** ‘EM.

Josh Brolin – boring, James McAvoy – hot as hell. I’m a sucker for anyone with an accent. As for the category – don’t care. Next.

Best Actress In A Leading Role – Presented By Forest Whitaker

Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth: The Golden Age)

Julie Christy (Away From Her)

Marion Cotillard (Le Vie En Rose)

Laura Linney (Savages)

Ellen Page (Juno)

Dear the Academy, F*** YOU!!!! Why is it that the Academy often are taken by movies that are, for a lack of a more descriptive word, SH***Y. There is a clear cut #1 option for this award, and even a clear #2. After that, its all garbage and can get thrown out with last night compost. The winner should have been Ellen Page by a landslide. I would have accepted Cate Blanchett. Blanchett’s role as Queen Elizabeth is a career defining one. If you haven’t seen JUNO, then you just don’t understand. Ellen Page was BRILLIANT. It wasn’t just some girl playing some pregnant girl.

I mainly like two kinds of movies – huge, epic movies and funny movies with snarky, quotable lines. But, the academy sees this differently. I mean, why should movies be entertaining? Why should we honor the movies that make us happy and feel good? We can’t because the academy likes to be depressed. I would have preferred Ellen Page to win this one because she is absolutely adorable, a fantastic actress, and if they were to make a movie about my life, I would want someone as cute as her to play me. But, I thought Cate Blanchett had this one. With lines the likes of “I, too, can command the winds, sir! I have a hurricane in me that will strip Spain bare if you dare to try me!”, how could she lose? (I’m a sucker for epic yelling). But, NOOOOO….we had to have the boring French chick. Pile. Of. Suck.

Best Song – Presented by John Travolta

Falling Slowly (Once)

Happy Working Song (Enchanted)

Raise It Up (August Rush)

So Close (Enchanted)

How Do You Know (Enchanted)

What can I say, it’s not The Final Countdown, so I couldn’t give a S***.

This category was like when Elton John wrote all those Disney songs. It’s just unfair. Raise It Up SHOULD have won, but the academy always has to go with the weird indy type things. F them. And where was my Hairspray nominations? You Can’t Stop The Beat, Good Morning Baltimore, and Run and Tell That would SMITE all these other songs. Shenanigans! Shenanigans, I say!

Best Original Score – Presented by Amy Adams (she’s from Castle Rock, Colorado! Woo!)

Atonement

The Kite Runner

Michael Clayton

Ratatouille

3:10 To Yuma

Generally, again, I don’t care about this. Unless there is a movie nominated that uses the score to reinforce the details of the movie. I did not gather that with these nominees. I could almost suggest 3:10 to Yuma or Michael Clayton. As much as I love Ratatouille, I am not pressed to push it and it’s score. So, whatever, no sweat off my back either way.

We ALMOST made it through the whole show without Atonement winning an Oscar. No such luck. I was pushing for Ratatouille, but then again I’m biased towards Pixar. Suckage. Next

Best Original Screenplay – Presented by Harrison Ford

Juno

Lars and the Real Girl

Michael Clayton

Ratatouille

Savages

For vintage Harrison Ford fans, his entrance to the Indiana Jones Theme song was not coincidental. If you haven’t heard a fourth Indiana Jones movie is set to run in theaters this summer. On the surface, Juno may seem like just some random comedy that could have been cast by the Steve Carell/Seth Rogan crews. It's much more than that, very witty and smart. The greatness of the movie is found in the unique delivery by most of the actors combined with the “what” that they are saying. It is also an interesting story that the screenwriter not that long ago was a stripper. Juno was most likely her first legitimate break. Can’t wait to see what “Diablo Cody” has in store for us in the future.

HOORAY FOR JUNO! God, I love the snarky-ness of it all. The way that Juno and her friend talk on the phone was UNCANNY to the way one of my best friends and I talk. Yes. People actually talk like that. And I love it. I also love that the lady’s name is Diablo Cody. My friend’s boyfriend’s name is Cody. I think he’ll be getting a new nickname in the future.

Best Actor In A Leading Role – Presented by Helen Mirren

George Clooney (Michael Clayton)

Daniel Day Lewis (There Will Be Blood)

Johnny Depp (Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street)

Tommy Lee Jones (In The Valley Of Ella)

Viggo Mortensen (Eastern Promises)

This is the closest to a hard category to decide. Viggo Mortensen plays a very convincing Russian mob member complete with omitting articles from his English translation. Tommy Lee is great, but like Denzel Washington, he is always Tommy Lee Jones in every role he takes on. Johnny Depp was the S***! He was absolutely the only actor who could have pulled this off. Furthermore, it is my belief that when you compare his entire body of work, focusing on his range (Crybaby, Secret Window, Edward Scissorhands, Pirates of the Caribbean), Johnny Depp is the best actor of the current generation at the very least. George Clooney is George Clooney. Daniel Day Lewis is awesome when he plays a character that is required to yell and get animated. The funny thing is, his characters and his real life voice are polar opposites. He should speak in his acting voice.

I am completely biased towards Johnny Depp. It takes a lot of balls to get up in front of people and sing. Viggo Mortensen had an extremely convincing Russian accent (the man could act his way out of ANYTHING), but it went to Daniel Day-Lewis. I really am not that big of a fan, but I guess this is okay. I would have preferred my EdwardJack ScissorSparrow, but the academy thought differently.

Best Director-Presented by Martin Scorcese

Julian Schnabel (The Diving Bell and The Butterfly)

Jason Reitman (Juno)

Tony Gilroy (Michael Clayton)

The Coen Brothers (No Country For Old Men)

Paul Thomas Anderson (There Will Be Blood)

I really want to say Jason Reitman for Juno. Almost more for Reitman than Juno. Juno is a great flick. However, for the award of direction, I think it would have to go to There Will Be Blood. No Country for Old Men is a good movie, but I think more was achieved in There Will Be Blood.

I was pushing for Juno throughout the entire show, but I also like the Coen Brothers. Good on them.

Best Picture – Presented by Denzel Washington

Atonement

Juno

Michael Clayton

No Country For Old Men

There Will Be Blood

Atonement is a joke. It is a movie that was specifically made to tickle the fancies of the Academy. Juno is a GREAT movie. Juno is a complete movie that runs the emotional gamut. Great acting, plot, development, etc. Michael Clayton is good, but it's still just a decent lawyer flick starring George Clooney. No Country for Old Men was even better than Michael Clayton, but I don’t know. There Will Be Blood is a small movie with big acting. Point being, there are no Shawshank Redemptions, Forrest Gumps, Schindler’s Lists. There is no real true Best Picture Nominee, so I go with Juno just to shake things up a bit. If our grossing minimum idea was applied, this would be populated by Transformers, Knocked Up, 300, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, and Juno. So there it is, like most presidential elections best of the evils…JUNO.

I really need to actually see There Will Be Blood. It’s a Miramax film, so I’m bound to like it. And I always enjoy the Coen Brothers. Again, I would have liked to see Juno win, but fun movies never win. How dare we have fun at the movies. Poo on them! I can’t wait to see what next year’s Oscars disappoint us with. Down with boring “deep” movies! I want to be entertained, not given a history lesson! Go Juno!