Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Hugh Hewitt: The Smears of a Clown

By Rick Morris

The last thing I ever want to do on this esteemed blog of ours is to dip into hack FM morning-drive wacky DJ territory, which is why I have never countenanced doing any type of song parody here. It's a tough concept to get right and if you don't believe me, listen to a tape sometime of Opie & Anthony deservedly carving up said DJ types for lapsing into idiocy.

Having said that, I was inspired to put a song parody together in honor of what will hopefully be a 55-gallon drum of whoopass being dropped on Objectively Unfit Mitt on Super Tuesday (click this link to check the latest compendium from Bizzyblog to see why that name applies so well). The Biz put up a post over the weekend based on the old Paul Simon ditty about 50 ways to leave your lover that had 50 reasons to vote against Romney (personally, I'd have gone with something about me & Julio eloping in Massachusetts, but I can see where that would have been unwieldy!).

Anyhoo, this is a song designed to be belted out by Romney hatchet man Hugh Hewitt. Enjoy, and please don't sue me, Smokey!

"People are bigots, they won't vote for Mitt
Though I told them the Morman speech was a hit

In order to get him over the finish line
I have to launder all of the campaign slime

Don't let my nerdy expression
Give you the wrong impression

Really I'm mean, won't let the campaign be clean

I will talk down to the right wing
I'll use my show and blog to sing

The smears of a clown
'Cause my boy's going down

Fred's got the "Big C," he is gonna die
Contrast that with my healthy and well-groomed guy

In case people's mem-ries of McCain are hazy
I'll trot out the tale that he had a black baby

Don't let the Huck's expression
Give you the wrong impression

He's on the left, so was Mitt but he's deft

I will talk down to the right wing
I'll use my show and blog to sing

The smears of a clown
'Cause my boy's going down."

Thank you. Thank you very much.

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