Sunday, April 13, 2008

Live Blogging: Night of Too Many Stars-part 2

By Jason Jones

It's gift giving time…

Will Arnett goes through the gifts given for price point donations-

$50 Donations-a “Night of Too Many Stars” oven mitt.

$100 Donations-a “Night of Too Many Stars” ski mask.

-Blue Man Group musical performance.

Kevin James in blue face masquerading as the fat member of the Blue Man Group. If that alone wasn’t funny enough, he and Jerry Stiller comprised a short segment of a scene from a King of Queens episode.

-Shades of our current Political segment on The FDH Lounge (Sunday nights 8-11 pm on, the kid that played MCLOVIN in Superbad is imploring you to vote. “Get out there and vote, its your choice as to whether we have a lady president, a black president, or a normal president, it's your vote, it's your choice”.

-One of my favorite characters of all time, President George W. Bush, played by Will Ferrell.

>Will Ferrell:“…ah hayell I’m out in seven months, I don’t have to talk all president-y, how’s it hanging wiseass?”.

>Jon Stewart: “As you come to the end of your second term, are you in a reflective mood?”

>Will Ferrell (George W. Bush): “Hayell no Jon, I’m pumped as SH**! This is a victory lap, I won the Daytona 500 and its smokey burnout time. I’m going to crack a bud, watch a Rangers game and walk around my house naked. I might even rub one out.”

>Jon Stewart: “Sir, could you please watch the language we have children and, just please watch the language."

>Will Ferrell: “You know what Jon, No, I will not watch the language. You’ve been roasting my ayass for seven years now…and its payback time. I’m out now, and I can’t be punished for fraud or abuse of power. So, I’m going to have the IRS audit your ayass. And when you’re gone, your kids will be audited. And then your children’s children. Even if it’s a thousand years from now, and they don’t audit anymore because we have barcodes in our eyes, I’m going to make sure they have a few guys to do it the old fashion way. So, put that in your Emmy and smoke it."

>Jon Stewart: “Previous presidents have all written memoirs wanting to tell their story, do you have any idea when you will start writing yours?”

>Will Ferrell: “I actually finished mine, Jon. Uh, they will be sold only as a book on tape narrated by Vin Scully and Joe Morgan. I don’t want to ruin it for you, but Osama gets what’s coming to him. This book is going to make a great movie, it’s a cross between Harry Potter, Die Hard and Forest Gump…only with emails getting deleted and tortured.”

>Jon Stewart: “Most presidents open a library to house their writings and chronicle their time in office, any idea when you might be opening a library?"

>Will Ferrell: “The Bush Library will actually be not just a library, but more of a library slash paintball range.”

>Jon Stewart: “As you go out of your presidency, are there any lessons you’ve learned? after seven years of leading the most powerful nation in the world, what lessons have you learned? Do you have any lessons?”

>Will Ferrell: “…, …., Nope."

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