Sunday, June 1, 2008

Best NBA Nicknames of All-Time

By Jason Jones

As I began to look into the upcoming NBA Finals, I was reminded of the players (and their nicknames) who dominated this series from the 1980's. Magic Johnson and Larry Legend helped to ascend the fan popularity to a new level. Too bad the nicknames of today's players are not as epic and creative as their predecessors.

Player Nickname

1 Dominique Wilkins Human Highlight Reel
2 Larry Johnson Grandmama
3 George Gervin The Iceman
4 Ervin Johnson Magic
5 Charles Barkley Round Mound of Rebound
6 Larry Bird Larry Legend
7 Vinny Johnson The Microwave
8 Michael Jordan Air Jordan
9 Earl Monroe The Pearl/Black Jesus
10 Robert Parrish The Chief
11 Karl Malone The Mailman
12 Shawn Kemp The Reignman
13 Stacey Augmon Plastic Man
14 Sarunas Jasikevicius Jazzy Cabbages
15 Lloyd Bernard Free World B. Free
16 Antoine Walker Employee #8
17 Darryl Dawkins Chocolate Thunder
18 Kevin Garnett The Big Ticket
19 David Robinson The Admiral
20 Hakeem Olajuwon The Dream
21 Pete Maravich Pistol Pete
22 Julius Erving Dr. J
23 David Thompson The Skywalker
24 Lebron James KingJames/TheChosenOne
25 Sam Cassell E.T.
26 Oscar Robertson The Big O
27 Joel Pryzbilla The Vanilla Gorilla
28 Amare Stoudemire The Man Child
29 Ron Artest The Straight Jacket
30 Andrei Kirilenko AK47
31 Gary Payton The Glove
32 Tim Duncan The Big Fundamental
33 Jerome Williams The Junk Yard Dog
34 TJ Ford The Little Engine
35 Lamar Odom The Goods
36 Dennis Rodman The Worm
37 Dwight Howard The Daily Double
38 Tony Parker Mr. Longoria
39 Tyronne Bogues Mugsy
40 Ricky Davis Grits 'N Gravy
41 Pau Gasol The Meal Ticket
42 Adam Morrison The Stache
43 Steve Nash Hair Canada
44 Emeka Okafor Blackula
45 Brian Scalabrine The Ginger Ninja
46 Allen Iverson The Answer
47 Kobe Bryant Black Mamba
48 Paul Pierce The Truth
49 Darrell Griffith Dr. Dunkenstein
50 Olekskiy Pecherov Stewie Griffin
51 Manu Ginolbi Obi-Won Ginobli
52 Kevin Durant TheSecondComing/Durantula
53 Wilt Chamberlain Wilt the Stilt
54 Nate Archibald Tiny
55 Jerry West The Logo
56 Samuel Dalembert The Haitian Sensation
57 Baron Davis Boom Dizzle/Too Easy
58 Steve Francis Stevie Franchise
59 Gilbert Arenas Agent Zero/The Hibachi
60 Shaquille O'Neal The Big Aristotle
61 Dwyane Wade Flash
62 Leondro Barbosa Brazilian Blur
63 Robert Horry Cheap Shot Bob
64 Yi Jianlian The Chairman
65 Kenyon Martin K-Mart
66 Andre Miller The Penguin
67 Andersen Varejao Sideshow Bob
68 Bryant Reeves Big Country
69 Clyde Drexler Clyde the Glide
70 Scottie Pippen The Condor
71 Chauncey Billups Mr. Big Shot
72 Shawn Marion The Matrix
73 Daniel Gibson Boobie
74 Dan Majerle Thunder Dan
75 Connie Hawkins The Hawk
76 Corey Brewer Drunken Dribbler
77 Caron Butler Caronimo
78 Udonis Haslem The Udominator
79 Linas Kleiza The Menace
80 Charlie Villenueva Skillanueva
81 Deron Williams The Kingpin
82 Hakim Warrick The Helicopter
83 Chris Paul CP3
84 Vince Carter Vincanity
85 Jason Williams White Chocolate
86 Ray Allen Jesus Shuttlesworth
87 JR Smith The Prodigy
88 Martell Webster The Definition
89 Kirk Hinrich Captain Kirk
90 Channing Frye Buffet of Goodness
91 James Worthy Big Game James
92 Glen Davis Big Baby
93 Brandon Roy The Natural
94 Richard Hamilton RIP
95 Chris Anderson The Birdman
96 Anfernee Hardaway Penny
97 Rafer Alston Skip To My Lou
98 Tracy McGrady T-Mac
99 Stephon Marbury Starbury
100 Harold Minor Baby Jordan

Points of Note:

#5- Sir Charles is probably more well known, but Round Mound of Rebound is just more funny.

#7- The Microwave may be one of the more genius results in a nickname

#14- My wife assures me that "Jazzy Cabbages" is the funniest name on this list

#16- Employee #8 is interesting seeing as opposes Antoine Walker's personality

#17- Chocolate Thunder is only one of great Darryl Dawkins names to pick from

#29- Ron Artest's "Straight Jacket" may be the most fitting name on the list

#42- The only thing Adam Morrison is know for these days...The Stache

#45- How great is "The Ginger Ninja"? South Park good

#52- Most young players get carried away, but I love "Durantula" for Kevin Durant

#59- Agent Zero was a great name, too bad it doesn't apply

#77- Caron Butler may not truly deserve a nickname, but Caronimo is creative

#99- Starbury is just stupid and lazy, and a far cry from the brilliance of Iceman and Chief

#100 Baby Jordan, the only nickname to end a career the second it was uttered

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